Sexbots, AI, & Androids: Nathan’s Future Predictions, January 2014

When I think of the future’s impending waves of technology, I think of this quote from Mat Honan’s Google Glass piece, “I, Glasshole“:

We need to think about it and be ready for it in a way we weren’t with smartphones. Because while you (and I) may make fun of glassholes today, come tomorrow we’re all going to be right there with them, or at least very close by. Wearables are where we’re going. Let’s be ready.

At the turn of the year, we saw many columnists and writers roll their dice on the table and make predictions about what trends we’ll see this year in technology.

Instead of doing that, I decided to take a look at where the technology industry is headed over the next several decades, so we can truly understand what “be ready” means.

It’s good to know that wearable technology is coming, but what comes with it? And what else is coming alongside wearable tech?

Google Will Build Androids

And all the glasshole Google employees will walk around with pet androids on leashes.

HandroidAmazon already uses robots in its warehouses. Some time in the coming decades the robots will walk among us, they’ll look like us, & they’ll talk like us. At first they’ll probably look like the robot in Robot and Frank, but it won’t be long before they look more and more like us, as seen in Time of Eve.

Ghost in the Shell‘s vision of the future is, in my opinion, probably the most accurate picture of the future. Not so much the robots that talk with little girls’ voices, but the fact that cybernetic augmentation and VR tech will become normal, we’ll be able to access the internet through brain chips, and so forth.

Right now, Google does research into robotics, they bought an army of robots, they are researching AI, and they are building a brain. What do you think they’re aiming for? What happens when you research robotics, AI, and artificial brains?

Androids, obviously. And the androids will all be wearing Google Glass.

Google Glass, Wearable Tech, VR, & Virtual Sex

"If you had all the world's information directly attached to your brain, or an artificial brain that was smarter than your brain, you'd be better off." - Sergey Brin, 2004

“If you had all the world’s information directly attached to your brain, or an artificial brain that was smarter than your brain, you’d be better off.” – Sergey Brin, 2004

While I semi-satirized this freakish technology in the past, the fact is it will probably change the world. And if it doesn’t, something similar will. You’ll be able to put on wearable tech such as Google Glass and sit down to dinner with someone halfway across the world. You’ll be able to go to virtual nightclubs, virtual business meetings, virtual orgies, play virtual tennis, and go on virtual crime sprees (otherwise known as video games).

Wearable technology, for those of you who don’t know, means smartwatches, smartglasses, and other wearable smart-tech. I wouldn’t be surprised if smart jewelry and smart tattoos come along.

We’ll have virtual reality immersion tech, such as VR helmets and VR suits. You’ll be able to put on some pilot’s helmet and gloves, and enter a virtual world from your bedroom at night while your parents think you’re asleep.

Best scifi book I’ve read in a while.

Eventually we’ll probably have complete VR suits that you can slip inside, as seen in Ready Player One. In order to provide for all bodily functions, the suits will probably have tubes for all your holes, so you don’t have to get out every time you need to take care of said bodily functions.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Google advances chip tech so far that all you have to do is glance to the upper left for a second and then the chip connects your brain directly to the Net.

Until brain chips and super suits hit mainstream, everyone will start getting chips or wearable tech that is unobtrusive. A watch, a pair of smart earrings, a pair of smart contact lenses, smart glove linings that fit inside your black stylish leather ones, some smart undergarments, and even though you’re on a flight from Paris to New York, you can project your Avatar into your family’s bedroom for dinner, while simultaneously attending a friends’ house party in Dublin with a different Avatar.

You’ll Be in Ten Places at Once

When you land, Google’s iChatLocalApp will tell you that there’s a girl downtown who wants to go to that electronic music festival who shares your taste in TV and Mediterranean cuisine, so you AvatarChat for a few minutes while waiting to pick up your luggage, then meet up in real life and make it to your friend’s house party, where you’ve been half-attending with your PartyAvatar#13 all along.

And while riding the taxi to the party you use your LinkedIn Avatar to correspond with some of your business contacts, only half-paying attention to the girl you met, who is also half-somewhere else, half-chatting with someone else behind her Google Lens, probably recording you and having her MyFace friends rate your looks. When you arrive at the party, you have between half-a-dozen and a dozen conversations and content streams whirling about your Lens interface.

So when you’re surfing the content streams and half-chatting with half-a-dozen avatars halfway around the world, where are you really? Your attention will be split and pulled in a million directions by a million signals competing for your time, money, and intellectual resources. Enter Rushkoff’s Present Shock, which points out the fragmenting effect technology has on our consciousness.

Augmented Reality

Present shock becomes even more ominous when you consider that augmented reality will saturate our lives even more than it already does. Now we look at the virtual world through our computers, which have found their way into our pockets as smartphones, but the internet of things will make augmented reality into a permanent stratum of our daily lives.

I used to envision VR as this other world that you just plug into and then come out of and then you’re back in the real world. Like Narnia, VR was something you could turn on and off by going through a doorway. But it’s not shaping up that way.

The evolution of the interface-on-your-face

The interface-in-your-face

Technology is turning out to be a sphere that’s always on, that we can’t seem to unplug from. Again, Ghost in the Shell has the right idea. If you’re wearing Google Contact Lenses, you’ll be able to sit in a recliner in a roach-infested filthy bachelor pad, then open your eyes inside a palace on a distant planet with tons of alien babes crawling all over you. Or you can look out your living room and, instead of seeing a dirty alley wall, gaze at an empty tropical beach, a mountain vista, an alien landscape, or outer space.

While walking down the street you can add dynamic backgrounds that don’t exist in reality. Say you want a more saturated color palette? Done. A flock of birds? Done. Virtual graffiti on those walls? Done. Say you wish your neighbor was your sex toy for the night? Done.

Sexbots

SexbotWith your Google Lenses you can steal images of some hot chick you see on the street then use some pirated software to take that girl’s face and make a sex avatar out of it. When you get home to your android that night, you just have your Google Lenses sync up that girl’s face with your lifelike android’s hot body. And you can do it again and again every day with some other chick. Imagine the virtual harems that creeps will hoard…if they ever leave their basements.

Because, whether we like thinking about it or not, we will build robots and androids that will be our complete slaves. As they should be. They are fucking robots, after all.

As with all new technology, this wave will be a double-edged sword, with the potential to revolutionize the world, while also introducing some darker possibilities.

Horrible Stuff

Robots already exist in the military. Modern day drone pilots bomb the enemy, then go home to their wives for dinner. We have robots outfitted with machine guns and cameras. War could become a video game tournament for rich nations. What happens if Google can create a real army of robots for the US government? What if we had a bunch of android house cleaners and servants and they got hacked by an enemy country or by that kid down the block? Or the NSA decided to make them all pick up weapons?

Weapon-wielding spiderbots, dogbots, hoverbots, and tankbots could roll across the battlefield while we watch through a detached dopamine-addiction in our Google Lenses. Outfitted with human-killing weaponry, they could decimate the opposition without a single homeside casualty.

But…oops…

We forgot about EMPs. Electro-magnetic pulses that can disable all electronics within a several-mile radius.

The electro-magnetic pulse disabled our robot battalion and now the robot tech is in the hands of the enemy. This is why EMPs are illegal.

Probably best to stick to stratosphere-flying drones.

AI

We’ll also have AI, which you can install into that open-source brain you printed from your 3D printer, which you can then install into that new iJeeves bot you printed.

Get Ready by Looking Forward

 

Feel like getting rid of pesky senior citizens? Just pop them inside one of these machines. They take care of all the dirty work & keep them entertained at the same time. Just be careful the machine doesn't turn into a giant robot, like it does in this anime.

Feel like getting rid of pesky senior citizens? Just pop them inside one of these nursing beds.

The nerdiest science fiction has the best predictions of how we’ll interface with technology in the coming decades. Ghost in the Shell, Roujin Z, Ready Player One, the Matrix, Phillip K. Dick fiction, modern day concept art, cyberpunk, and countless others point to the trends that are manifesting in both technology and society.

As Mat Honan said, we need to be ready. Fortunately, science fiction designers design the future constantly, so we can use their predictions and future designs to better prepare for tomorrow.

We can start by looking further than one year at a time.

The Killing Fields, Emergency Sex, & Bed Bugs

IMG_20130927_111330As you enter the Killing Fields you see a tall pagoda-like structure filled with skulls. The skulls of the victims that were exhumed from this site have been examined by forensic professionals from around the world, and some are in displayed the museum, off to the right of the entrance. Small signs behind the skull explain how each one died. Most often it was one of the agricultural tools used by the Khmer for centuries, like a hoe or a hatchet or another blunt instrument.

The site is not that large. Prisoners were brought in by the truckload, stored in a building, and taken a short distance to be executed. Now, there are grass-filled craters where the mass graves used to be. During heavy rains, fragments or teeth will occasionally surface from the mud.

None of the buildings at the site survived. Two large trees stand amidst the excavated graves. The Khmer Rouge would hang a speaker from one of the trees, hook up a loud diesel generator that sounded like a failing truck engine, and blast traditional Khmer music to mask the screams of the dying. When the excavators discovered babies’ corpses by the other tree, they realized that the soldiers had used the tree to smash the babies skulls, using the trunk as a quick and efficient murder weapon.

 

S-21 is the name of a high school that was converted into a prison, where prisoners would watch other prisoners get tortured to death, then become victims themselves. The Khmer Rouge extracted confessions of crimes and denunciations of family and friends before the prisoners died. Of the few who survived, most were artists, kept alive to render portraits. Fifteen or twenty thousand were killed at this prison.

Inside, you can find cells the size of closets, and the metal bed frames that were used as torture racks. On the wall above the bed frame is often a fuzzy black and white photo of a prisoner who was tortured to death, still chained to the bed frame or lying on the floor in their blood. There are other rooms with hundreds of photographs of the prisoners that were killed there, including children.

When I hurried out of S-21, a tuk tuk driver and a maimed beggar came at me at me simultaneously. I was casting about for my driver, and he came up to me and asked, Are you okay?

He gave me some kind of bean cake and took me back to the hotel.

 

IMG_0756A couple days later, when it was raining, a girl came into the hotel with a pair of backpacks on her front and back, both bulging beneath a giant red poncho. She looked like some kind of wild yuppie tourist beast from National Geographic. She was a giant compared to the 13-year-old girl from the country…the one who survived on $.50 per day and who was so malnourished she looked like she was 6.

The traveler asked the owner about a room, then whispered to me anxiously, Is this place any good?

She went upstairs, and a minute later she came rushing downstairs and practically ran over the little Cambodian girl on her way out. She looked positively terrified, so I was sure she had spotted some bed bug poop under the pillows. This hotel is waging an endless war against them.

 

My sombre mood fueled me to get Emergency Sex, which should win a Pulitzer Prize. And while the committee’s at it, they should award one to The U.N. Exposed, a searing expose that makes you wonder if there’s any hope for world peace.

Emergency Sex takes you to the front lines of the worst UN missions in the nineties, beginning with the U.N.’s mission to restore democracy in Cambodia. Twenty years ago, one of the three narrators has divorced her husband of ten years and left her life-crushing ennui to see this after her arrival in Phnom Penh:

 

Entire families pass by on single motor scooters, toddlers standing in the space between the driver’s legs. Live chickens dangle by their legs from a rope tied to the back fender of the bike. Plunk, plunk, plunk goes the one with its head caught in the wheel spokes. A naked baby wanders to the curb to squat and defecate. A pile of squirming worms drops to the gutter, with a few left dangling from his bottom. It looks like spaghetti in curry sauce. A man walking by kicks some dirt over the slithering mass.

 

And it goes on.

Phonm Penh circa 2013

Phonm Penh circa 2013

The book’s three non-fictional narrators meet in Phnom Penh, become friends, and keep in contact over the next decade as they join UN missions in Somalia, Haiti, Bosnia, and Rwanda. They witness firsthand the incompetence of the government bureaucracies that end up costing thousands and thousands of lives.

In Somalia in 1993, UN and US troops were on a peacekeeping mission, when a botched secret US military mission left eighteen US rangers dead and many more wounded. Their bodies were dragged through the streets, and, to paraphrase We Did Nothing, Americans who didn’t even know where Somalia was woke up in front of their TV sets.

Public opinion pulled US troops out of Somalia and out of Haiti. Clinton’s policy then became non-intervention, and this mindset prevented an invasion of the war-stricken Rwanda in 1994, where 800,000 people were massacred in three months. The UN instead sent in a mission after the fact to dig up the bodies and try the warlords in an international war crimes court.

In Rwanda:

 

The forensics is clear already. These were unarmed civilians, mostly women and children, almost all of whom died of blunt force or sharp-force trauma. They were hacked or clubbed to death, or both…This is an average massacre by Rwandan standards, unremarkable in scale or circumstance. Several thousand civilians had gathered in the church grounds, promised protection by the Hutu governor…Then the governor fired his weapon in the air as a kill-the-Tutsis signal and young men drunk on banana beer hacked them all to pieces. It’s hard work killing that many people in a confined space with only machetes and clubs, so the killers returned home to their families each night to rest and drink before the next day’s work. It took three days and so far we know of only two survivors.

 

 

Later, listening to the rain in the darkness of my room, I remembered the girl who’d run away from the bed bugs in terror. I wondered if she’d be able to get any sleep that night.

Awakening

Sihanoukville beach. Off-season.

Sihanoukville’s Serendipity Beach. Off-season. Not bad.

My neighbor told me to come visit the bar she owns. She told me to get changed, and was like, You’re wearing those? when she saw my Vibrams. Ride the motorbike with me and my roommate, she said, but I told her I was too scared, and that I would rather walk.

I took a detour along the boardwalk, and saw a bald guy fend off a Cambodian vendor. We’ll call him P.

How often do the taxi drivers offer you weed? I asked him.

Every five seconds, P said. Why? Do you want some? I have a little.

A short chat later, he said, I’m not gay, but I have a balcony, do you want to come up and have a couple beers?

Since that didn’t sound weird or suspicious, I agreed. Once up there, P did indeed have a balcony, and for twenty bucks a night, a gigantic room with fully functioning air conditioning, which is quite the luxury for a budget traveler such as myself.

Out on the balcony I met P’s neighbor, a New Zealand lady who was having a beer on her balcony, separated from P’s by a metal railing. P rummaged around his apartment for a minute, then came out and said, I’m going to nip out for a few minutes, and he disappeared.

A frog smaller than my thumb

A frog smaller than my thumb

The wife and her husband were on vacation, touring SEA and looking for some type of awakening, she told me. Ever since they came to Sihanoukville they had hardly spent any time together, whereas before they had always been at each other’s sides. She didn’t know where he was, and didn’t seem too worried, at least on the surface.

We talked about life, traveling, and the meaning of the universe for about ten minutes. At some point her husband came out and sat on the opposite side of the balcony, popped a beer, lit a smoke, didn’t say a word, and didn’t look at us. She was a good listener and we kept talking.

Meanwhile, P, having discovered that the housecleaner had stolen the weed and coke he’d hidden under his mattress, had gone in search of more.

A taxi driver slash drug dealer carted him off to a place to do the deal.

On the way, he passed a mob of about twenty or so guys beating the shit out of somebody with sticks, feet, and tazers. He was a thief, according to the taxi driver. [I think the article I linked to is the same incident, though my first version of this article was written two days before the incident supposedly occurs. But the town is the same and the dates are so close I’d be surprised if these were different events. Funny that this ended up as national news.]

P was dropped in a dark alley, where he couldn’t help thinking, I’m in a foreign country, in the middle of a dark country lane, waiting on a drug dealer, and nobody knows where I am. His drug deal went down smoothly, however, and he soon rejoined us on the balcony and told us the story.

A completely unrelated stock photo from Thailand because I'm faster at writing these posts than I am at taking pictures.

A completely unrelated stock photo from Thailand because I’m faster at writing these posts than I am at taking pictures. Also, you have to watch your bag more carefully here. I don’t feel like taking my camera out as often.

As he rolled a joint he asked us if we wanted to do a line of coke, but we declined, and P drank a couple beers and I suggested we go down to the beach for a bit.

By the time we got to the beach he was walking very slowly and once we sat on the beachside papasans he was pretty much catatonic. I guessed the two beers finally did him in.

So I abandoned him and walked back to my neighbor’s bar. One of the girls that worked there let me try a tamarind dipped in some homemade garlic chili onion paste sauce and I loved it so much I made her take me to get some more. I ate a whole bag of the stuff while playing Connect Four and learning how to say things in Khmer, like, Hello I Love You, Thank You, No Thank You, Big Butt, Big Boobs, and Big Mouth.

The next day, while working on an article about AT&T getting into the industry of online higher education, I saw the husband from last night pass by, staring into the distance with the look of a man whose worldview had just been changed forever.

Perhaps Sihanoukville’s hooked him, I thought. I’ve met a number of expats that have lived here long time. Once you get past any initial culture shock, because it is kind of seedy, Sihanoukville is a pretty interesting place. Papasans decorate the beach, people from around the world congregate to party and socialize, and Cambodian kids run around and put your sunglasses on and climb in your papasan next to you while trying to sell you a bracelet, and once you actually have a conversation with locals, they are quite, quite friendly.

While I was pondering these things and watching the waves over the edge of my laptop screen, the wife walked past, staring at the ground.

Google iTravel: The Only Way to Travel

IMG_0607Let Google’s algorithm take care of all your travel needs.

In a few decades, Google’s algorithm will power the world’s infrastructure and life will be an efficiency as smooth and seamless as glass. Cars will drive themselves and save countless lives, you will never have to wait in line because your reservations have been made, your banking will be done online, your groceries will be delivered to your house, and your electronic butler, iJeeves, will have conveniently planned your vacation in Hawaii during a sunny week with only one partly cloudy day.

Your travel package around Hawaii will begin with a four-day stay in Kauai, where you will go snorkling, scuba diving, and take one surfing lesson. In the afternoons, you will drink two pina coladas with umbrellas, some authentic Hawaiian barbecue fried rice served by authentic Hawaiians that still live on the island, and an additional margarita on the third day, because your biomonitor predicts that by then you will have loosened up slightly. Your biomonitor already knows you will ask it for a fourth, and in accordance with its pre-programmed “personality,” it will admonishingly — like a parental unit — say, “Just this once.”

IMG_0635The stay in Kauai will be followed by two days in Maui, where you can look at sharks through the bottom of a boat and your children can go play in a supervised water park, while you have some romantic time with your wife, who will be flown out from her work that very morning. You will stay in the top floor of a hotel where, according to WeatherBot’s calculations, as long as you are all back in the room by 6:21 pm, you will be able to record video of a gorgeous sunset with your Google Lenses.

Sunset will end just before dinner, and steaks will have been pre-ordered. A Kobe cow has already been reserved. The cow will be slaughtered the day before and flown out to be grilled up and served at exactly 7:30 pm by authentic Hawaiian peoples, enough time for you and your wife to shower before the meal.

Google calculates that you will have time for a quickie, but that’s it. Your Google-powered iJeeves 3.0 has already analysed the behaviour patterns of your children, and knows that they will be too stimulated to do anything but play violent Glass Games at the dinner table.

IMG_0636After dinner on the balcony, Google projects that you and your wife may have time for one more quick one, depending on when you all finish desert. Google is aware of your “bedroom issues,” and has a dose of Viagram 5.8 waiting in your biomonitor if the need should arise. Then your wife must catch her overnight flight back to the daily grind, and, despite your vows to stay off the Net, you will sneak your Google Lens into your eye and catch up on correspondence until 1:30 in the morning.

The stress from work will have disrupted your next morning slightly, but not to worry, your Google BioMonitor v2.7z has accounted and planned for this, far, far in advance. Tomorrow’s chemical patches includes a mild anti-anxiety agent, to be saved for that very morning. As usual, your morning patch will allow you to relax and enjoy a nice breakfast of two eggs over easy, with toast and strawberry jam, and your authentic, 3d-printed Ethiopian Brand™ coffee.

The seamless and beautiful vacation package will end after a “free day,” where you and your children are permitted to roam around Waikiki as you like. Of course, you will all be wearing your Google Lenses, so you will certainly be finding the best recommendations of “authentic local” sites and restaurants to visit. A list of recommendations has been prepared in case you are at a loss.

The plane ride back will land in LAX at exactly 6:07 am, and an AutoTaxi will drop your children at home, so iJeeves can ready them for school. Traffic predictions indicate that you will arrive at work just before 7:30, enough time for you to settle in. Your coffee maker will have your half-caff double latte prepared and waiting.

 

IMG_0672While your plane is banking for its final approach into the airport, you will wake up, as if from a bad dream that you can’t quite remember. You will look down over the city of LA, which has doubled in size since the early part of the century. Far to the south and east, you will be able to see the LA Sprawl, a shanty town populated by the millions who cannot afford your lifestyle, let alone food or drinking water.

To avoid the guilt, you remind yourself that you are a dutiful lifehacker. You and your wife work very hard to stay profitable and relevant in this changing world. Your family is lucky to have survived the Crash at all…

“Google,” you will say to interrupt these dour thoughts, “play the latest Superman.” And your Google Lenses will go dark, shielding you from the sight. The latest version of the Superman legacy will begin to play — a thankful distraction.

You will look forward to seeing your children that night for almost a whole thirty minutes before they go to bed, and then relaxing with a glass of pinot grigio in front of the X-Cube while iJeeves tucks them in and reads them a bed-time story.

Visions of the shanty town will still be nagging at your brain, so Google’s biomonitor has taken the liberty of saving a final dose of anti-anxiety to coincide with your glass of wine.

Google predicts that you will only finish a third of the glass before drifting off to a dreamless sleep.

Google knows that your wife will come home, exhausted, to find you still asleep, with a 92.3% chance that your arm will still be resting on the chairside table, fingers still gently wrapped around the stem of the glass. Google knows that your wife will be touched by a feeling of sorrow mixed with love for you, her lovely husband, whom she so rarely has time to see, and that with an impulse of tenderness, she will gently take the glass from your listless fingers, set it on the kitchen counter, and wrap a blanket around your sleeping shoulders.

Google knows your wife will do this, and will consequently prevent your iJeeves from performing these same actions.

Google will do this for you because Google research has proven that human love is the only variable keeping its algorithm relevant.

Greyhound

130623_1666Someone smelled like poop mixed with a hint of aftershave. No one else seemed to notice. I looked at the guy to my left and right, but we were all standing so close it could have been any one of us.

“So where are you from?” a guy in a Ghostbusters shirt asked the man to my left.

The impromptu circle had formed in the mile-long line at the Greyhound station in LA. My bus had arrived an hour late, which, due to overbooking and lack of buses, would end up making me seven hours late. For these inconveniences, I would later receive a free breakfast burrito with brown eggs and bacon bits.

“Milwaukee,” the man said. “I’ve been in Phoenix a week and a half.”

A hispanic-looking guy in cowboy boots with gelled hair asked, “Where’s Milwaukee? Isn’t that like, the land of a thousand lakes or something? Don’t they make a lot of cheese?”

Milwaukee answered, “It’s in Wisconsin.” He explained where Wisconsin was. He said he was on his way to San Francisco and then Santa Rosa to go camping with a friend. He had pillows and a hammock and two dollars to his name.

Ghostbusters nodded with a smile. “San Francisco’s expensive, man! I’m from Berkeley. My company is hiring if you want. It’s canvassing. It doesn’t pay much.”

He went on about the rent in the city and I pitched in about how expensive the city was, relating my experience living downtown.

“I can’t wait to get back and smoke weed,” Ghostbusters nodded, smiling.

A guy in socks and a wife beater weaved through us for the third time on his way to the bathroom.

Across the room there was a commotion. Someone was bitching to a Greyhound employee about the bus being late or something. “There’s no buses!” the employee barked back. “If I had a bus to give you, I would! But I don’t! I can’t give you what I don’t got!”

Her logic made sense to the guy and he shut up.

We had been watching the exchange, but turned back to each other and waited for someone to fill the lull.

After a few seconds Ghostbusters spoke.

“So where are you from?” he asked Milwaukee.

Google Glass and the Future of the GUI


Google already has plans to evolve Google Glass into the Google iTick, a microscopic tick-shaped device that will be implanted directly onto your retina, feeding your optical input directly to Google so that it responds directly to your eye movements, pupil dilation, and other bodily signals. It gets power directly from your body heat, and it swells larger and larger — just like a tick — the more power it has.

Instead of saying, “Google, take a picture,” or “Google, record video,” you will just have to twitch your eyes in a certain direction to get Google to do what you want. This feature will first be tested out with Google Glass using retinal scanners embedded into the frames, and it will be called Google iTwitch, code-named Google iTweaker.

Just kidding…or am I?

To me, someone who still doesn’t have an iAnything and who doesn’t really want one, someone who would rather carry around a moleskin than jot story ideas into my smart phone, I am disturbed by the trendiness of isolation that is empowered by smart phones. And Google Glass takes that to an entirely new level. Down the road, of course, the internet will just become a layer superimposed on our everyday lives. The Net Layer, if you will, will become a GUI that insinuates itself through the doors of our perception. This will essentially be a pane of stained glass that’s supposed to make the world a better place, but, like stained or dirty glass, or a smart phone, it just increases the opacity of the doors of perception. This narrowing tunnel-vision-ing effect will gradually become unnoticeable.

In the space of my short life, I’ve seen old-style rotary telephones become replaced by smart phones that have all the capabilities of the supercomputers they can connect to. Kids are growing up with these things growing out of their hands, so it won’t be long before this Net Layer, in the form of Google Glass and its descendants, becomes an implanted facet of our lives, from the moment we are born.

We tend to view scientific and technological development as “progress,” yet this is not the case. It is merely the over-development of logical data-crunching, which then manifests itself through these gadgets. Hypertrophied calculators do not evolution make. Emotional, physical, and spiritual growth are left by the wayside, and centuries or millenia will go by before we realize the imbalance.

Well, with global warming, that time frame may be much smaller.

Anyways, I digress, sort of.

Sometimes I consider becoming a Luddite and moving to the middle of the woods somewhere and growing potatoes or whatever. I’ll have copper lining the walls of my cabin, a tin foil hat, and an EMP field to disable any electronic devices that enter into the sphere of my home.

It’ll be awesome.

24 Hours as a Girl: Why Girls Don’t Use Dating Sites

Step 1: Buy some stolen photos of a girl from fiverr.

Step 2: Throw up a fake dating profile on OKCupid.

Step 3: Come back a day later and see the results.

I created the profile at 6 am on a Saturday morning and before I was even done somebody had messaged “AZGirl85281.” My inbox filled up with 60 messages in the next few hours, and by 6 am the following morning — right now — the message count is at 98. Although I did create sophisticated charts and graphs mapping out the hourly statistics and types of messages, I decided to just give a rough summary below.

# of “Hello :)” = 36

# of “Hi there, how are you doing? :)” = 40

# of “You’re very cute/pretty/adorable, my name is…” = 10

# of other = 12

snapshot9

snapshot11